SCHIAP SLIDE Oversized Chunky-Zip Boxy Hoodie

In 1935, Elsa Schiaparelli scandalized Parisian haute couture by taking the utilitarian plastic zipper out of hiding and slapping it across evening wear in vivid contrast colors. Four decades later, Romper Room handed toddlers oversized, chunky plastic toys engineered so large that motor skills were entirely optional. "THE SCHIAP SLIDE" occupies the exact, chaotic intersection of high-surrealist couture and morning-television slapstick.

Running the full length of the front is a monstrous, comically scaled industrial zipper in saturated, fluorescent Shocking Pink. The teeth are enormous, tactile, and unapologetically absurd—turning the simple act of sealing out a draft into a piece of performance art. Grounding the absurdity is the signature Toxic Fly perched quietly on the right chest, ready to depart this collision of avant-garde history and daycare excess with clinical, unblinking detachment. Cut from an imposing 345 gsm black fleece, the hoodie provides an austere, midnight-black architectural canvas that allows the neon hardware to demand all the attention in the room.

The Hardware: Super-sized, industrial-gauge front zipper in iconic Schiaparelli Shocking Pink, featuring gargantuan interlocking teeth and a substantial pull tab built for tactile satisfaction.

The Insignia: Signature "Toxic Fly" emblem printed cleanly on the right front chest, maintaining archival composure beside the high-contrast hardware.

The Canvas: 345 gsm (10.2 oz) heavyweight fleece engineered from 87% cotton and 13% polyester, delivering dense thermal defense, structured drape, and a soft interior hand.

Silhouette & Proportions: Generous, boxy unisex cut with dramatic dropped shoulders, deep set-in sleeves, and an architectural hood that holds its shape without collapsing.

Functional Details: Streamlined slash front pockets tucked cleanly into the silhouette, supported by wide, heavy-ribbed cuffs and a matching ribbed waistband.

Seasonality: Built for autumn chill, deep winter layering, and making an entrance in spaces that take themselves entirely too seriously.

Provenance: Hardware scale curation and graphic identity by Jon Fulton Adams.

Zip the garment completely before washing to prevent the massive pink teeth from terrorizing surrounding textiles.

Machine wash cold at 30°C on a gentle cycle, turned inside out.

Tumble dry on low heat, or dry flat to preserve the boxy drape.

Iron on low temperature strictly on the reverse side; keep hot irons far away from the nylon zipper and front print.

Do not bleach. Do not dry clean.

Operate the zipper with dramatic flair; subtle exits are no longer an option.